Thoughtful Thursday: Letting Go of the Need to Be Right

"It is more important to be kind, than to be right."  ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

I used to think this fluffy saying from one of my favorite authors was bullshit. I mean what's better than getting that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you, in all your magnificence and splendor, have proved to your unworthy adversary that YOU were right?

It's very easy for us to let our Ego's take over and run a muck all over town. We let it define who we are based on where we live, what we do, or how much stuff we have. Our ego is fed by the external, while our souls are only concerned with the internal.

I realized a huge part of my ego was not just attached to being right, but getting the other person to admit it. There was something about hearing the words "You are right" that made me feel validated. I would argue and argue. Not because they didn't agree with me, but because they couldn't or wouldn't say the words.

I needed to hear those words. It wasn't enough for THEM to admit their fault. I felt uneasy unless I could get the other person to acknowledge my position in the argument.

After two people very close to me said, within a week of each other, "Nacia, you are too hung up on hearing you were right", I figured I ought to examine my reaction to conflict more closely.

I was wrong, for ALWAYS wanting to prove I was right.

I recognized the "high" I felt from their validation was short-lived and unfulfilling. My need for being right was not coming from a loving, open place. It stemmed from a fearful place my ego created to make me feel powerful, instead of feeling weak.

But I'm not weak. Love is more powerful than fear, and I don't want to be fearful. I won't let another person's opinion of who I am, determine the value and love I have for myself. 

It should be enough for ME to see the truth and still treat the other person with kindness and respect, rather than drive a wedge between us over 3 little words.

I've let go of my need to be right. It doesn't serve me or the people that I care about. It's quite a freeing feeling really. Try it. The next time you are in an argument and there is no end in sight--- LET YOUR EGO GO.

Tell it to take a hike because you don't need it. It may feel a bit strange at first but after a while you will notice the weight of "being right" will be lifted off your shoulders.

Feeling Lighter in Granolaville,

Posted in: conflict,ego,letting go,thoughtful thursday