The Truth Will Set You Free

I've fallen off. I take full responsibility for it. Actually, I've taken no responsibility for the fact that I got off track, lost my way, and have been doing a disservice to you, my lovely crunchy friends.

But that stops now.

You see I think there's a part of every one of us that wants to be "perfect". Seeking that impossible dream is bad enough, but what makes it harder to swallow is that you were doing it for someone else.

A boss you are trying desperately to impress. Your older sister, proving wisdom doesn't always come with age. That college professor who lacked to see your brilliance. Your husband or wife. Father or mother.

An audience of baby wearing, breastfeeding, clean eating, chemical-free, GMO hatin', natural product junkie, holistic lovin' peeps. (Yes I'm talking about you)

We all have our stories of trying to fill these enormous shoes. But the truth is, we'll never be truly happy living for others.

Were we created to think, dress, talk, walk, or act the same as the women down the street, or according to someone else's prefabricated idea of what being holistic, crunchy, or green should be?

Or are we here to determine our own story? Forming it all from what speaks to us from somewhere unknown.

Call it your gut like my new obsession, Ms. Olivia Pope, the divine, God, Allah, Yahweh, the collective consciousness, or Jiminy Cricket. No matter the name, it's that thing that tells you maybe you've taken the wrong exit, miles off in the wrong direction.

I'm doing a course correct.

I'm a human being who got caught up. Much like the now outcast Paula Deen, I was caught up in being "the expert" (or trying to be), in utilizing the latest marketing technique, in pretending to be bigger and more important to the world then I actually am.

I'm not trying to demean myself. I say this because I realize the world would not lose sleep if Granolaville were abandoned tomorrow, but I do realize I have a voice and people listen.

What's funny is that I'm actually a very private person. Under the mask of trying to be something I could be proud of, I closed off to only let you see and read what made me look like I had my shit together.

But if we are sticking to truth...that has been exhausting.

I'm a hot fucking mess sometimes. My kids eat hot dogs for dinner three nights in a row. I pretend  my boys swimming in the pool is an acceptable substitute for showers. I haven't ran in two weeks or juiced nearly as much as I should.

I've been putting shit off, letting things pile up, and been generally disorganized.

I'd forgotten how passionate I was about the power of women in birth and their right to have all the information. A zeal that was re-awakened by my awesome doula client and her awesome husband.

So no more excuses. You deserve better.

I can't live a life created so that others don't judge. Judgement is inevitable, so why not live a life that is true to you, the real you. Not some public persona.

You deserve for me to be authentically me. Talking about things that matter to you.

I love being a writer. I am truly honored that your eyes are reading these words.

So from now on I'm going to bring my 'A' game and write about the real topics in Granolavilles across the world, not the fluffy shit that crowds my Pinterest page.

I can't promise everyone will agree with me, or that I won't get flak for the things I write. But just know I offer these posts with the best intentions.

I hope you like it. I mean really like it. Not just with a virtual thumbs up,  but in a way that helps you, motivates you, inspires you, or just makes you feel....something.

If not, I'm OK with that too. All I can do is be true to me.

Do you ever feel like you are living your life for someone else? What helped you get back on track?

Love & Light,

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