Have you ever had a self-love sandwich? No, I'm not talking about the ham and cheese on rye you make after watching a sexy flick by yourself or reading the "red room" chapter in 50 Shades of Grey (spoiler alert LOTS of freaky things go down in there.)
I'm talking about the feelings you swallow after doing something, just for you. Don't know what that tastes like?
My self-love sandwich is usually made up of a thick slice of shame, two pieces of hot regret, and a dollop of selfishness. I wash that bad boy down with a big glass of cold self-deprecation, and YUM-O, I've got myself a recipe that'll rival any fancy pants restaurant.
So why do I beat myself up over getting my eyebrows waxed, taking that extra long bath, or treating my feet to a swanky new pair of gray riding boots? Because on some level, I feel like I don't deserve it.
I hear that little voice in my head telling me ALL the reasons why I shouldn't be taking care of myself. They usually center around how my self-care will hurt other people.
"If I lock myself in my room for a half hour, to paint my raggedy nails, my kids will surely perish from lack of love or chicken nuggets, or something!"
"My husband will hate me if I leave the house without a child in tow, even if it is to do something as exciting as going grocery shopping."
"My BF will be so pissed if I don't go out for that drink after putting in a 12 hour day. I can sleep when I'm dead right?"
We all have those BS stories. They allow us to relish in our martyrdom. Then we silently resent not showing ourselves the type of love we show everyone else.
But who really benefits from this?
You might say that our husbands, kids, boss, or parents benefit from the time and attention we shower them with. But do they really?
I'm not sure why we have ingrained in our minds that we're a better wife, mother, sister, daughter or co-worker if we diminish our own value to please or uplift others. We even swap sad selfless stories, like homemade cookie recipes.
"I dropped this one here, brought that one to her tuba lesson, cooked dinner, did 2 weeks worth of laundry, took a shit with a toddler on my lap, and performed masterfully in the bedroom for my husband. I just can't find time to wear anything other than yoga pants and a messy bun or make an appointment to get that weird growth looked at on my toe. But that's OK, my family's taken care and that's ALL that matters!"
WHAAAAATTTTTT!?!?!?!?!?!
Ladies, why oh WHY, is this OK? How does anyone benefit from you being over-stretched, over-tired, and looking like a hot mess? Why has a lack of self care become the currency of good parenting and wifery? (yes that's a word)
When you're stressed out, physically spent, spiritually empty, and emotionally exhausted can you really be at your best for your family?
Let me answer that for you...
HELLZ NO! It does NOT serve the people you love if you don't first love yourself. Somewhere we started equating self-love with being selfish, but sister we've got it all wrong!
Self-love fills you up and allows the overflow to pour into your friends and family. While being selfish sucks others dry of energy and time.
Self -love shows people that they should respect your wants and needs, just like you respect theirs. While being selfish disrespects the people you care about, and ultimately yourself.
Self-love sets healthy boundaries. Selfishness knows no limits.
I adore you for being such a loving and generous person.. But what do YOU need to be a vibrant, passionate, fulfilled woman who can share her kickassness with those around her?
Not quite sure? Well I'm here to help! I'm BEYOND excited to announce my first ever LIVE workshop series kicking off January 27th called Soul Fueled Living.
And the first topic...you guessed it, SELF-LOVE!
I'll be hosting a small group of women who are ready to discover what they really want out of life, and how to get it by making mind, body, spirit, connections. Each month we'll cover a new topic that empowers YOU to live your crunchy life to the fullest.
So if you're ready to ditch the BS excuses and learn how to find personal balance, while fueling your own fire, then this workshop is for YOU!
Check out the deets and register now as space is limited!
**As a special "Thank You" the first 3 people to register will attend for FREE!**
My apologies to those crunchy peeps who live in other Granolaville's all over the country (and the world). I have something in the works for you too!
What are some excuses you use to avoid self-love? Share in the comments section below!
Lovin' Me in Granolaville,
1 comments:
I tried certain diets but some don't work my bff is on Atkins and so is The Talk's co host Sharon Osbourne. I'm a meat person and I add lemon or lemon juice in my water and put sweetner in my coffee or tea drink plenty of OJ. I bake instead of frying and use Shake-n-Bake on chicken and pork chops and yes I eat plenty of salads. Good luck on your diet and I'll see you next time.
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