No one ever said being a "crunchy mama" was easy. Sometimes our parenting choices get odd stares or looks of confusion.
Didn't start your kid on solid foods until she was WELL over a year old? Weird.
Let your baby sleep in bed with you? Unsafe.
Cloth diapered? Super weird (and gross).
Made your own organic baby food? Just buy it!
Didn't vaccinate? How dare you!
Breast fed your kiddo until Kindergarten? You've got a first class ticket to CRAZZZZZZYYYY TOWN. All Aboard!!
Yea, we're use to our fair share of judgment and curiosity as to why we "do what we do".
If only those looky-loos knew the truth.....we want to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted kids.
Shocking, I know!
Here's the thing that REALLY blows my mind...the fact that we still make it difficult for some families to make these choices.
Raising children is already one of the scariest, most challenging, personal, and of course AWESOME endeavors we may ever face.
This is why it PAINS me to see mothers being bullied or harassed into filling someone else’s parenting mold.
We should all support a mother's right to choose how to raise her child.
In the United States, breastfeeding in public has become quite a hot topic.
From a mother in a grocery store on a military base being asked to leave because she was feeding her baby, to the national news Target made as mothers, across the country, took a stance by staging "nurse-ins".
People (mostly women) have become fed up with the unfair treatment of mothers who choose to nourish their children this way.
While being humiliated or harassed in a public place for breastfeeding your baby can be traumatizing enough, I believe that mothers who work outside the home bear the biggest burden.
Going back to work after being engulfed in new motherhood can be quite a transition, especially for nursing moms.
Every woman deals with some level of guilt if or when it's time to return to her career.
But women who choose to continue breast feeding have a different set of challenges than those mamas who formula feed.
Let me be clear. I am in no way trying to minimize the difficulties non-nursing mothers have. I’m only pointing out that they differ from those nursing moms face. Both should be given equal attention.
But the unfortunate truth of the matter is that women who need to pump to maintain their supply, are not always treated with respect in the workplace.
Yes, there are laws that protect women who breast feed. The Fair Labor Standards Act was amended to "require an employer to provide reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for one year after the child's birth each time such employee has need to express milk."
Unfortunately not everyone is protected.
If you happened to be employed by a small business (less than 50 employees), the law states that if your pumping is causing the employer "undue hardship", they are not subject to these requirements.
In essence, small businesses (defined by an arbitrary number) can refuse to let women use their break time to pump, if they feel it negatively impacts their business.
In the case of a local mom, in my Granolaville, this is exactly what happened.
Kate began working at a local bagel shop in Hopewell Junction, NY when her son was just 2 months old. After being hired, she informed her boss that she was still breastfeeding, and would need 10 minutes of her break to pump milk.
They did not offer her a private place to pump, so she made do by taking her break in her car and pumping.
Three days later, Kate took her lunch break in the dining room of the bagel shop. She sat down and ate, while discretely pumping milk underneath her jacket.
After lunch, a manager approached her and told her, "A customer complained about you pumping in the dining room. You can't do that because we are supposed to be 'family friendly'."
The irony of a "family friendly" restaurant NOT supporting a mom who is trying to feed her baby is not lost on me.
Kate was completely covered. She didn't expose her nipple, nor whip out her breast to express milk, yet "people" felt uncomfortable.
Most people don't feel it's their place to say to a woman, who is half dressed with her rack perched up for the world to see, to cover up.
Nor do they feel the need to tell a Speedo wearing overweight man at the beach that his rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly or offense.
So why is it that a woman, who is doing her best to be low-key, prompts a patron to complain?
Something is seriously wrong with the way we respect mothers and the choices they make. It's a bullshit double standard.
Kate agreed to not pump in the dining room again, in fear of losing her job. But just a few days later, when she called to find out her schedule, she was given the run around, and was finally told that they were going to go with someone else for her position because she wasn't "working out".
She believes she was let go because of the pumping incident.
Not only did Kate's loss of employment impact her family financially, but it also gave her a rude awakening to the changes that need to be made to protect ALL nursing mothers’ rights.
In her exclusive interview with me, she explained:
This whole experience made me feel very disappointed, especially with one of my female managers, who I thought would understand since she was older than me and had children of her own. Also it disgusts me that smaller businesses can get away with this loophole with the law because of "undue hardship". But, that doesn't change my mind about returning to the working world. I have heard a lot about discrimination against breastfeeding mothers in the workplace and all I can say is you don't know something until you have experienced it firsthand. It made me become more active in breastfeeding rights in the workplace. My goal is to bring awareness to small businesses about breastfeeding mothers in the workplace and I do hope that my goal is achieved.
As a first step, Kate has taken her cause to Albany and Washington, D.C. by writing to NY Senator Kristin Gillabrand and President Obama, in hopes of shedding light on the mothers who have seemingly fallen through the cracks.
What do you think of Kate’s story? Are these nursing laws fair or foul?
2 comments:
Before my first daughter was born, I was working as a waitress at a small restaurant. I returned to work 4 weeks after she was born, and needed to pump every 2 hours or so (you guys know this :) ). Seeing as how I was the only waitress, my boss wouldn't let me take a break to pump. As a result, I was standing at a table where a family was seated, their baby started crying, and my milk let down majorly. I was already engorged as it was, and my shirt soaked in a matter of seconds. Those customers were so mad they got up and walked out, and I lost my job. So I completely sympathize, and understand, what you mamas are going through.
Yes! I think women who work hourly jobs have it the hardest. If you have your own office, say in a corporate job, you can be more flexible with how you spend your time. I can TOTALLY relate to your story Brittany. I waitressed for years too. There is NOTHING worse than having engorged breasts while trying to focus on taking an order or running food. I just don't think most employers are used to accommodating bfing moms. Hopefully, by bringing attention to it we can help them make better decisions.
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