Thoughtful Thursday: Staying Open to the Possibilities of Love

Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open. ~ Alexander Graham Bell

I was recently asked how to heal a broken heart. Let me first say if I had the secret to this age old question I'd be a BILLIONAIRE. 

As long as there have been human beings there has been heartache. Love can be complicated and daunting--- yet in its purest form is as simple as breathing.

No matter how many times you've found romantic love, the pain of seeing that relationship end doesn't get easier. We blame ourselves, we blame them, we blame others. We sift through all the things we could've done differently. We wonder if anyone will ever love us again and if we'll be able to give that love in return. We get angry, we get sad, and then at some point we let go.

This all doesn't happen in one day or sometimes even one year. Day by day, moment by moment we walk away from the pain and hurt of losing someone you love. At first those emotions are merely a few feet behind us. It would be so easy to turn around, reach out, grab that love and try to hold onto it.

But there is a reason why the love did not, or could not stay. It's not because you were unworthy of it. Everyone deserves to be loved.

In every case the relationship served as a way to teach you something about yourself. I had a history of finding men (boys) who I felt I could "save". They were destructive to themselves and others around them, yet I thought my love could help them change. In the meantime I would allow them to mistreat me, because in truth--- I thought that was all I deserved.

It was like I kept walking into a brick wall hoping it would turn into a door. I was so fixated on "getting through it" I didn't see the fat lip and broken spirit the wall had given me.

It took me walking far enough away from that "love", so that when I turned around it was just a blur in the distance, before I was able to see the real unconditional love that was strolling my way.

I allowed myself to be open to the possibility of a love that didn't ask me to change, that supported my dreams, and was unconditional. I let go of what I knew of love, and made way for something far deeper and more fulfilling.

It's not perfect and I'm still learning each day from the love I've found with my husband. I don't look back on my past experiences with regret or shame. My heart break served a purpose---- to open my heart for real love.

What is your advice for healing a broken heart?

Staying Open in Granolaville, 

 

Posted in: broken heart,love,thoughtful thursday