I took my boys for a haircut yesterday. As we sat and chatted with Paul, their usual barber, about how our summer was going my 6 year old looked up at the television screen that typically has reality T.V. or a game show on it to entertain patrons.
On this particular day the salon had on CNN. A man in a hospital bed, with tubes in his nose was being interviewed. My son asked me what happened to him. All I could muster was, "He got hurt."
The truth is the man was one of the 71 victims of the recent massacre in Aurora, Colorado. By now I think everyone has heard of the shooting that took place during the midnight showing of Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.
24-year-old neuroscience PhD candidate, James Holmes, entered the back door of a packed theatre, filled the room with a smoke bomb, and began mercilessly shooting into the crowd. He killed 12 people and injured dozens more--- armed with heavy weaponry and ammunition.
I know many news outlets as well as Facebook posts have begun to use this tragedy as a way to push the agenda for or against gun possession. At this point that issue pales in comparison to how I explain this unthinkable event to my child.
The world can be a beautiful, loving, nurturing, and magical place. But it can also be fucked up. As parents we do our best to tell children that monsters and the "bad" guys in movies don't exist. But they do.
How do we protect them from things that their hearts and minds can't comprehend, without making them fearful of world?
I could have explained to him what happened, matter-of-factly. But, as we all know, that would only lead him to ask more questions that I just don't have the answers to.
I wish my child didn't live in a world where violence, hatred, and murder existed. I wish I didn't have to explain to my children that horrible things happen everyday to people, often at the hands of other human beings.
I want my children to know love, not fear.
In order to show them that this world is full of wonderful loving people I must embody that myself. I heard a quote the other day that I shared with my 13 year old that helps me to remember that our time on this planet may be fleeting, but how we treat people will live on.
How do you explain tragedies to your children?“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” ~ Og Mandino quotes (American Essayist and Psychologist, 1923-1996)
With a Heavy Heart in Granolaville,
1 comments:
All you can tell them is that you will always keep them safe, no matter what. When they are little that's all they want to hear, but as the mom of a 13 year old (my lovely nephew), what you told him is the truth. Always tell the people that you love, that you love them, everyday. We take it for granted that we will get another chance to tell them that, but we might not.
When your little cousin Brianna was at my home the last time, she was in my bed, playing with me computer, and all of a sudden she asks me, "are bombs going to drop on us in America? I thought my heart would break in two, but I told her, of course not, she will always be okay. Then I went into the bathroom, closed the door and cried so hard. For a little in this country in the 21st century, if bombs are going to drop on her, is almost too much to bear. I'm very sad that when I die, I don't know if my loved ones will be safe, and if we will persevere. Anyway, you did a good. I'm very proud of you. Aunt JoAnne
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