Thoughtful Thursday: 3 Steps to Accomplish Anything

Getting started is difficult. So difficult it took me 20 minutes to write that first sentence. It didn't help that my husband decided to "check in" as I was typing the words, or that my mom then called as soon as I hung up with my husband, or that my infant son has found his voice and it sounds something like a prehistoric pterodactyl.

But again..... I digress.

Accomplishing anything is process. Whether it's writing an article, finishing that scarf you've been knitting since last winter, or starting a dreaded "diet", you've got to get through 3 steps to feel like you are gaining any traction.

First, you must set your intention. My goal today was to write this article before my 15 month old woke up from his nap. Second, you must be motivated. I knew that if I didn't jump on the opportunity, without being interrupted by Blue's Clues, I would get behind in my self-imposed daily writing schedule. Third, you must persevere. Through distractions, self doubt, and road blocks the ability to keep going is the most important step in this trinity of success.

1. Set an Intention

There have been numerous books over the past few years, including one of my favorites by Dr. Wayne Dyer called The Power of Intention, in which the idea that our perception of what could happen greatly affects the outcome of what will happen.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Anyone that looks like 'Mr. Clean' has got to know something right?

Devising a purposeful goal is a key step that many of us forget. Instead of anticipating or planning the experience we would like to have, we dive straight in, let the chips falls where they may, and wonder why our lives don't feel within our control.

I've been guilty of this oh so many times, especially when in a disagreement. Instead of thinking about what I say to the other person, before I say it, I jump in, guns blazing. If I had just approached the situation from the intention that I was going to hear the other person out and not say anything to deliberately hurt them, I could take comfort in knowing I was coming from a good place, even if they didn't agree with what I was saying.

“When the choice is to be right or to be kind, always make the choice that brings peace” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Whether you tell yourself you can do something or you can't, you will always be right, so choose whichever will get you to your goal.

2. Get Motivated

Finding the energy to get yourself going can seem damn near impossible when faced with a big task (or a little one like getting myself off the couch). I sometimes tell myself if I don't start something, then I won't be discouraged when I don't finish it. How ass-backward is that!?

Your motivation to accomplish any goal has to be less painful then the alternative. Being in shape as opposed to being winded walking up the stairs, playing it safe or taking a risk, staying in a damaging relationship or venturing out on your own...its all about which motivates you to experience the least amount of pain.

For me, the alternative to becoming a better writer, supportive Doula and fulfilling my career aspirations is to waste the talent and passion I was blessed with. Frankly, that scares the shit out of me.

My drive is fueled by not wanting to squander my potential with inaction. So just START. Whatever you've been putting off, start it now. I've found once I get rolling the momentum builds and each task becomes easier than the last.

So get pumped! Imagine all the positive ways your life will change once you do that thing you've been "meaning to do". Visualize the smile on your face and pride in your step when you can say I did it!

3. Persevere, Persevere, Persevere.

For changes to be of any true value, they've got to be lasting and consistent. ~ Tony Robbins

Consistency. It might as well be a four-letter word to me. But really is there any other way to make the changes we seek, other then doing that thing ALL the time? (I'm still hoping there is a loophole to this). Step one and two I've got down to a science, but step three is often where I fall flat on my face right into a steaming pile of self-pity and disappointment.

Anyone who achieves results, in any aspect of their life, does so because of the constant choice to make it happen. I think most of us start off with SUPER high enthusiasm but find it difficult to maintain that level of throughout our busy lives. We let other responsibilities momentarily deter us, swearing its "only this once".  Then we make lame excuses as to why we can't do it as much, but we're still tooootallly committed. Before you know it we've given up because doing something half-assed makes us feel worse then not doing it all.

In order to make lasting changes make sure whatever you are focusing on is truly important to YOU. If your goal is to get in shape before the summer swim suit season then pick a regime that fits into YOUR life, not the life of someone who has hours to spend at the gym.

If you want to eat healthier start by cutting one food that you know you can live without. (For me its salty potato chips). Making small changes is a lot easier to stick to than saying, "I'm giving up all carbs, dairy, gluten, sugar, and meat!"

Giving myself doable goals to get to milestones also gives me an incentive to keep going. Otherwise, I get so overwhelmed with the "big picture" I STOP like a deer in headlights.

If you DO find yourself getting stuck, don't beat yourself up. Give yourself credit for what you've done, dust yourself off, and keep it movin'. The more you dwell on your mistakes in the past the harder it is to see your achievements in the future.

Whatever it is you want do, its not beyond your reach. We all have amazing potential if we just give ourselves a chance.

What is your recipe for success? Share in the comments section below!

Washing, Rinsing, Repeating in Granolaville,

P.S. This post took me 4 days to write....I'm a work in progress.

Thoughtful Thursday: 10 Mantras That Can Change Your Life

1. What You Resist Persists

This saying was my mantra while sitting in the delivery room ready to welcome my now 6 year old son. I remember like it was yesterday. Now I have to admit I am incredibly lucky when it comes to child birth. Labor for all three of my sons was under 3 hours. I don't think I have a natural tolerance for pain, but the mixture of the awesome nursing staff, a soothing mid-wife, and the support of my mother and husband, I was able to see past it. I realized some discomfort was natural, especially without medication, and I would only being doing myself a disservice if I were to fight the pain. So I picked a red spot on the hideous gown I was given to wear and stared a hole into it while repeating the saying "What I resist persists". It not only helped me to control my breathing and take my mind off the pain, but it reminded me that I need to just accept the way things are, even if they are hard because resistance causes more pain for myself and others. Once you surrender to "what is" it is easier to move past it.

2. Let Go and Let God

Let Allah/Buddha/The Universe/Yaweh/Jehovah/JC handle it.

 This definitely ties into the previous mantra. I have always thought as myself as a "go-get um" "make things happen" kind of woman. I also believed that my diligent persistence and ability to keep going when things got tough were positive attributes. Within the last few years I have realized while my tenacity has helped me many times in my life, it has also made it very difficult for things to take their natural course. I'm a Scorpio--- I can't help wanting to control and fix every problem. When my husband and I were looking to buy our first home I was consumed with controlling every part of the process and not letting things happen. I nearly had us buying every house we saw! After calming down, going through some turmoil, and crying in my husbands arms, I just let it all go. I thought ,I can't control everything, and sometimes its better that I don't. The day after I surrendered our home-buying fate to the Universe/GOD/Energy/Source (whatever you want to call your higher power) we found the perfect home for our family. Sometimes you don't have to do anything, just trust that it will be done.

3. Give To Others What You Think They Are Withholding From You

Sounds sappy, but this is it.

 I believe that what we think and say have a profound influence in shaping the world we live in. The Universe is like a mirror, reflecting back to us the way we see and treat the world. If we approach life with distrust, expecting to be let down, hurt, or under appreciated that is exactly what will be given. If you want others to be compassionate to you, show someone compassion. If you want your spouse to show appreciation for you, show them appreciation. If you want others to respect your beliefs and feelings and not judge you, then don't judge them. I am surprised at how often I forget this simple rule.

4. I'm Never Angry For The Reason I Think

It's never come to this, but sometimes I'd like to go a little "Madea" on people!

This one is a toughie, especially when my husband does something annoying, or my kids are driving me crazy, I want to blame them for my mood. The underlying issue might be that I'm not feeling appreciated or I'm under stress (perhaps from launching a new holistic website). I'm not really pissed that the dishes aren't washed or that no one offered to help with the laundry. What causes me to lash out is not feeling supported. Being upset for simple things, usually means something deeper is going on.

5. Living Well is the Best Revenge

Totally rude, but it made me chuckle.

This is one of my favorites, courtesy of my mother. We've all encountered someone, at one point or another in our lives, who wanted to spit on our dreams, say we CAN'T do something, or was just plain hatin'. When I was 16 I got pregnant with my amazing son, Tyler. Even though I knew the odds were against me, I was shocked that a teacher, at my supportive all-girls high school gave me the "yeah right look" when I said after graduation I was attending college. She even verbally questioned my ability to do so. From that moment on I was determined to be successful so that she would know that doubting me was a mistake. No amount of 'FU's' could replace the satisfaction of proving her wrong.

6. Small Moments Leads to Greatness

Again, and again, and again.

As a child I always wanted to be famous. I used to say I didn't care what I was famous for as long as people knew my name. Maturity and Kim Kardashian have made me wiser. Though I still want to use what I know to help others, I have learned that making big changes only comes from the combination of all the little ones. The odds of becoming "great" in 1 moment are stacked against us. Instead, I've gotta be true to who I am, do the best I can with each moment, of each day. When I'm old and gray (but still looking fabulous) I'll be able to look back and see my great life was created by millions of great moments.

7. You Can't Give What You Don't Have

Seems obvious right? But how many us are so drained from our obligations to others that we forget to care for ourselves? I know that when I am feeling MY best I have SO much more to give. Yet still, I have not fully mastered the ability to love and care for myself before tending to the needs of my children, husband, and friends. I sometimes feel like a drained zombie just going through the motions. My kids see that instead of being engaged in what they are doing I'm zoning out because I have too much going on in my head. It's not fair to me and its not fair to the people who count on me if I'm exhausted, stressed, or disconnected. So take care of YOURSELF. Take a hot bath, exercise, eat right, meditate. Be your best, so you can give your best.

8. "Our Deepest Fear is That We Are Powerful Beyond Measure"

This quote from Marianne Williamson has changed my life. I truly believe we all have the ability to do great things. I think we all know, intrinsically, that we hold within ourselves the power to move mountains. But as Peter Parker's Uncle Owen said "With great power comes great responsibility". Many times I have held myself back or let others hold me back from living my best life because I am afraid of not being able to remain balanced and handle it all. This does not serve me, and it does not serve others who could benefit from my abilities. When you live your best life it gives others permission to live their own.

9. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

This saying from the Dali Lama lets me know that I can't avoid being hurt, but I can choose how to react to those situations. I can either carry that pain around, allowing it to permeate everything I do, or I can view it as a part of life, and know that this moment does not define me.

10. I am not my story, my story is a part of me

We often give ourselves labels based on periods of time in our life and continue to place those labels on ourselves, even though our story has changed. My stories have included "I'm a single mother" ,"I'm the child of a single mother", and "I'm rebellious". Some might repeat the story "I was fat", "I was abused", or "I wasn't smart in school". All these stories that we tell ourselves are ways to keep our past in the present. Because we continue to tell ourselves "this is how I once was, this is how I will always be" we use these stories as a way to defend our present situation or feelings. We are not our past.

What is your favorite mantra? 

Getting Zen in Granolaville,