Natural Mom Monday: Holistic Fertility Healing

Conceiving a child is one of the most miraculous and exciting events to occur in many couples' lives. But for  6.1 million women in the US facing infertility issues, the process can be emotionally and physically trying.

In an age where you can determine the gender of your child through sperm manipulation, have a woman be the vessel of your already fertilized egg, and the term "too posh to push" has become a part of the collective zeitgeist, it would not be unfounded to conclude that conceiving a child has become the first stop on a train of unnecessary medical interventions.

Couples are willing to do just about anything to have a "natural" child. However, it becomes painfully ironic when they seek treatments, injections, and hormonal manipulations-- conceiving their child is anything but natural.

IVF, or in-vitro fertilization, has become the immediate answer for those facing difficulty getting pregnant, or maintaining a pregnancy. But with success rates only around 30-35% in women under the age of 35 and a recent study published in the journal Human Reproduction showing that women who received IVF treatment were 2 times more likely to have ovarian cancer, perhaps we need to reevaluate our approach.

Julia Indichova is doing just that.

Nearly 20 years ago, after being diagnosed with an "untreatable" hormonal condition, 42-year-old Julia Indichova was told by doctors that she would never have a child of her own. Refusing to believe that this was the end of her journey she began to look outside the medical community to find a way to have the child she dreamed of. Not only was she able to have a healthy pregnancy and baby, but today she is a sought after author and leads workshops in Woodstock, NY,  helping hundreds of couples achieve their own impossible dream through a Fertile Heart.

 Your first book Inconceivable was based on your own personal experiences?

Yes, in 1992, at the age of forty two, I was diagnosed with an allegedly “untreatable” hormonal problem,  At the time I went to see a number of reproductive endocrinologists and pretty much all of them agreed that my that my last good egg was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.  I think the most upsetting part was that they said it with such certainty; it paralyzed me for along time. But looking back, in many ways the fact that the medical world pronounced me untreatable, was really my saving grace.

How so?

It was the first time in my life that I dared to have an opinion on a medical condition that was different from that of the authority figures, experts and even more importantly, I followed through on that opinion by acting on it. In some way it feels as though that was the first time I really started to do my own thinking. And soon enough I was immersed in the most exciting research project in which I was the lab and the subject of the experiment, and the head of the project. In Inconceivable I wanted to take the reader through that experience with me--the progression from total despair to a place where I started to trust myself, and how that eventually led to conceiving my daughter without medical intervention.

Could you describe some of the things you did that helped you conceive?

It began with experimenting with food. Pretty much overnight I went from being a sugar and caffeine addict to juicing every morning. I started to become more and more aware of what I was putting in my mouth, and why, whether the food on my plate was going to help my body get stronger, or was it something that will deplete me of energy.  That part was easier than I would’ve thought, mostly because I could see changes almost instantly. 

The emotional and spiritual piece of the work took a lot more courage.  It meant admitting to myself that as much as I longed for another child, I had a lot of “inner orphans” that didn’t think I deserved to have what I longed for, orphans that I later realized have been stopping me from moving forward in my life for as long as I could remember. I did a great deal of soul searching and later developed specific imagery and body work,  that helped me change those self-defeating inner images I’ve lived with for so much of my life. And gradually I changed my views on what was possible.  I realized that I had a lot of power to create changes in my body and in my life.  And amazingly later I found that the same tools helped hundreds of other women to work through their inner obstacles. 

What prompted you to write the Fertile Female?

After Inconceivable was published, women from around the world – Australia, South Africa, Denmark – began to write to me.  Many of them used Inconceivable as a guide and now had miracles of their own and many others were asking for more guidance. The Fertile Female documents the work that emerged in response to those letters. It’s an in depth exploration of the tools I teach in the Fertile Heart ™ Conceptions workshops and weaved into the narrative are the many stories of the women I worked with. The book also has a detailed practice section with recipes, imagery exercises, guidance for dream reading, and movement sequences.

Could you give us an example of working with some of these tools?

Fertile Heart ™ Imagery is a very specific way of working with images, quite different from the popular "visualization" techniques, many of which are focused on relaxation. It is is about using images to identify the inner obstacles that contribute to our difficulties.  It’s an effective way to change our inner reality, to recognize destructive behavior and self-defeating beliefs that so many of us live with without realizing it. For example, there is an exercise I call The Room of Fear, which helps people access hidden fears of pregnancy, or parenting. One of my clients who was adopted at birth, found that she had a lot of unresolved painful feelings about her own birth. As she allowed herself to move through those feelings and started changing her inner reality she conceived naturally after five years of unsuccessful medical treatment.

Body Truth ™ is also about physicalizing inconvenient feelings of anger, frustration, hopelessness, because it takes a great deal of energy to keep such emotions from surfacing.  Sometimes we need to experiment with the movement before we can access the feeling. We’ve been conditioned, many of us, to view anger or rage as an unacceptable feeling. As they get expressed and released, a great deal of energy becomes available to create new life.


The idea of the mind body connection, of staying positive and reducing stress has become more widely accepted. How does the Fertile Heart work incorporate those principles? 

There seems to be a great deal of confusion around the principles of mind body connection, and positive thinking. The term itself is confusing. There really is no mind body connection because there’s never been a mind body separation. So many people I meet say, I know I’m suppose to be positive  but I can’t help feeling this treatment isn’t going to work and  it’s going to be my fault. Real healing happens when we create a safe space to hear whatever truth rises up in us at any moment.  Labeling our feelings as positive and negative means that is some way we are going to stop ourselves; that we will censor what we feel.  

The Fertile Heart work is about allowing ourselves to be as truthful as we can and then choosing to act in our own best interests, to be militantly on our own side no matter what. When we don’t do that, the Truth will find expression through our dreams, or through physical symptom, or through events that will suddenly present themselves.  And the treatment might fail in part because we become so “clenched” and spend so much energy on pretending that we’re “positive” thinkers. It’s true that we have enormous power as co-creators, and it’s important to harness our co-creative ability, but it’s a much deeper and more mysterious process than just “being positive.”

 What are your thoughts on the fertility industry?

Technology is an immensely powerful tool, but like any tool, it depends on how we use it. In what I call the “Infertility Industrial Complex” the line between medicine and business is obscured.  Almost daily there is some new “breakthrough” procedure that lures people into thinking that it will save them. The promise of a ‘quick fix’ from an outside powerful authority figure, and the panic of the racing biological clock drives women toward desperate action. 

They’re reaching for a miracle cure, without truly understanding the myriad of causes that can delay conception. And when the first treatment fails, what they walk away with is “wow, if I couldn’t get pregnant with all this help, there must be something really wrong with me. 

Very often it’s a message that’s reiterated by their physicians, and gradually it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I see women taking hormone stimulants for as many as seven, ten, even twenty treatment cycles. They keep thinking the next one will work. The long term effect of these drugs is still largely unknown.

How do you explain the fact that so many of the women you’ve worked with conceived naturally after years of failed high tech treatment?

A desire for a child is also an immensely powerful motivator. The baby is for many of us that one shiny apple we will do anything to reach.  What I aim to do is encourage people to directly experience and observe how much power they have to create change in their bodies, and how much the hidden images they carry, influence their hormone levels and biology. 

Once they begin to really see it for themselves, they become inspired to do more. And many of them overcome incredible odds, often after years of failed treatment.  But as wonderful as it is for me to see women conceive, the essence of the work is to make sure that this challenge doesn’t leave them feeling victimized, or bitter. 

The central piece of my work is to inspire people to discover that they can turn this difficulty into the absolutely best thing that ever happened to them, regardless of the outcome.

It sounds like the tools you describe can be used to birth not only a child but anything ?

Absolutely, these were the same tools that helped me birth the two books, and the website, and pretty much everything else in my life.  A few years ago, I’ve begun to teach workshops that are about other creative endeavors. We humans are the greatest untapped resource  on earth, and this is the time when we can no longer allow it to remain untapped. 

For more information about Julia Indichova and her Fertile Heart workshops visit her website.

Natural Mom Monday: What's the "Real Deal" With Attachment Parenting?

Not only is October the birth month of yours truly, the start of apple picking season, and the most beautiful time of the year (you can quote me on that), but it is also Attachment Parenting Month!

"I had no idea," you say...well me neither, but this worldwide celebration, created by Attachment Parenting International along side the Sears family (of popular Dr. Sears books), hopes to shed light on this growing parenting style.

The AP Month vision is to create one strong voice for AP through activities, events and information and to celebrate our annual theme.

This year's theme is Relax, Relate, Rejuvenate. Their goal is to challenge parents to "re-examine their daily activities, routines, beliefs, habits and traditions and learn new ways to engage with their children to grow with each other and remain close while promoting opportunities for healthy exploration, individuation and development."

Sounds good to me!

But with the recent spectacle that was made with the now infamous Time Magazine article about AP, featuring Jaime Grumet, a mother of two seen breast feeding her almost 4 year old son, this style of parenting has come under the national microscope. Check out her real story in this month's issue of Pathways to Family Wellness.

I think it's funny (not really) that everyone and their mother, even people without kids weighed in on extended breast feeding and why they think its wrong or weird.

As a mom who, as I type these words, is attached to my 22 month old by a boob, I still can't understand why this topic is such a huge debate. Why do other people care how I feed or comfort my child as long as he is a healthy, thriving, and loved little boy?

I don't walk into Mc Donald's and give dirty looks to parents as they shovel french fries and franken-meats in their kids. It's their right to make those choices and unless that kid is in poor health or severely obese people should look the other way if it bothers them.

Sorry, enough with my soap box....back to attachment parenting.

I would say anyone who subscribes to this type of parenting doesn't do so for shock value or because they read it in a book. There seems to be an overall consensus that this is what "feels right"... instinctively... to help our children grown into sympathetic, independent, and productive members of society, while honoring their individual needs.

We don't raise our kids this way to be in the spot light, cause controversy, or be the latest shit-show on reality TV.

So what is attachment parenting, in a nutshell? According to Attachment Parenting International there are 8 principles of parenting, and they do not specifically include those "extreme" practices like pre-mastication, elimination communication, or even extended breast feeding.

1. Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

As a doula I've seen many women devour EVERY book when it comes to pregnancy and their perceived trauma and drama around birth. But I think very few parents-to-be read anything about what to do once the baby gets here. So now they are left with this beautiful child that is 100% dependent on them and the  choices they make, and some new parents kinda freak. Educating yourself helps you to make choices that are right for you, not based on what friends of family members did.

2. Feed with Love & Respect

Though API  understands that breast feeding exclusively the first year is the most beneficial way to feed a baby, they also respect the choices of parents choose or need to bottle feed. More importantly then what they eat is how they eat. By avoiding a schedule and paying attention to your child's feeding cues of when they are hungry and when they are full, you are setting them up for healthy future eating habits.

3. Respond with Sensitivity

Becoming a new parent can be a stressful time. This principle helps to remind us that sometimes we need to take a pause and think about how our responses to our children (hurried, angry, scared, stressed, impatient) will shape their life.

4. Use Nurturing Touch

Physical intimidation or discipline is not something that fosters a sense of safety, security or love. Children are not little adults. Their view of the world, as a baby, is limited to what we as parents subject them to. Those experiences form how they will approach the world as adults. AP promotes raising children to approach others with love and respect, not fear.

5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically & Emotionally

If you aren't getting kicked in the face every night by a tiny human...I envy you. Co-sleeping, the family bed, and bed sharing are all terms we see associated with AP. But in reality they are not mandated or necessary. What is key is that we listen to the needs of each individual child, while keeping them in close enough proximity to foster secure bonding and attachment. This technique does not include methods like "crying it out" or "sleep training" as they force a child into a routine and pattern that benefits the parents (short term) more than it benefits them.

6. Provide Consistent & Loving Care

This seems like a no-brainer, but being consistent in your care can be difficult when so many of us work outside the home, have busy schedules, or have to rely on others for childcare. Make sure your childcare providers understand your parenting practices and support them, that way your child isn't receiving two different messages.

7. Positive Discipline

In my experience, as a mother of 3, children don't respond well to intimidation. By being reprimanded in a negative way we encourage more negative behavior. Instead, attachment parenting asks that we take the time to understand why a child is acting out, help them communicate their feelings, and come up with solutions that are fair and reasonable. I know this principle can sound a bit soft and fluffy, but the reality is most kids act out because they don't understand what they are feeling or because they don't understand how their behavior makes others feel.

8. Strive for Balance in Personal & Family Life

This is what being "holistic" is all about for me. It means choreographing a dance between our mind, body, and spirit, that allows our families to grow in a way that benefits our local communities and the world.

To me, nothing about this parenting style seems extreme or controversial. We all want a happy and healthy children, don't let labels scare your from doing what you feel is best.

Do you think Attachment Parenting is radical? Do you think the media represents it fairly? Share your comments below!

Lovingly Attached in Granolaville,

Natural Mom Monday: Friends are the Family You Choose

Being a part of a "crunchy" community of mom's has become one of the most fulfilling and awesome parts of my life. In the last year I have met dozens of women who have embraced and encouraged me. I've learned so much from all of them I'd be lost without them.

A little over a year ago I joined my local chapter of the Holistic Moms Network and started attending Le Leche League meetings. My world was suddenly filled with loving, knowledgeable, and most importantly--- non-judgemental ladies who where ready to share their wisdom and resources.

I used to be one of those people who scoffed at joining a "mommy group". I thought they were filled with bored housewives who needed a bitch-session. Let's face it, if you turn on the TV and see a group of women gathered there's always drama, shit talking, and a feeling that each lady thinks she is a better than the others.

That could not be farther from the truth of the group of women I have fallen in love with. It's amazing that we are all on various points on the spectrum of "holistic living" yet we are able to support each other in a way that doesn't make you feel any less because you don't cloth diaper or choose to vaccinate.

Aside from being a wealth of information these entrepreneurs, midwives, doctors, educators, work from home mamas, artists, and musicians are SUPER fun.

I had the pleasure of having dinner and drinks the other night for our Holistic Moms Night Outing. We laughed, we ate, we drank, and we got to partake in some kid-free mommy time! It was awesome!

I'm so grateful to have these women in my life. We are not just friends in a mommy group. We really have become a family.

Do you belong to a group of moms who support you? How important is that bond?

Lovin' the Holistic Mommy Power in Granolaville, 

Natural Mom Monday: 8 Ways to Celebrate Fall with Family

I am BEYOND thrilled right now! The weather has cooled off, the leaves are beginning to change, and apples are ripe for the pickin'. That could mean only one thing....it's FALL!!!

This is by-far my favorite time of year, the just air smells so crisp and clean (especially in my Granolaville). Of course I AM a bit biased. In a few weeks I get to celebrate a ton of awesome birthdays, including my son who's turning 2, and your very own crunchy friend is gonna be 31!

Not only is autumn the perfect transition into the cold winter months, but it also offers up a slew of ways to appreciate nature while having fun with your family.

Check out these fantastic 8 ways to celebrate Fall with the family!

1. Collect Leaves

I LOVE seeing the changing of the leaves from a deep green to bright oranges, reds and yellows. Take your kids through your backyard, neighborhood, or local park to gather their favorites. Make a leaf collage or decorate your home. It's a great way you bring the outdoors in.

2. Pick Your Own Pumpkins

Going to supermarket to get regular ol pumpkin just seems silly when you can scout out the perfect one at a pumpkin patch and haul it back to your car. Most pumpkin farms have a variety of sizes & shapes from giant jack-o-lanterns to tiny gourds. This site can help you find a patch near you!

3. Bake

Can you think of anything better than the smell of apple pie in the oven? Yea me neither. Fall is the best time of year to get the kids involved in the kitchen. Whether its chopping apples or making pumpkin pie the kids will jump at the chance to help once they get a whiff of the aroma of delicious treats. Check out this recipe for twice baked apples.

4. Decoration Party

My boys love hanging up fake spider webs, carving pumpkins, and the smell of my cinnamon broom. Make decorating even more of an event by playing some spooky music and inviting over friends and family to share in some warm apple cider. Here's a fun and simple way to dress up your front door in the spirit of Halloween.

5. Visit a Farmers Market

Fall is a great time of year to remind your family that there's nothing better than REAL food.  Check out the sights and smells of your local farmer's market before they close up for the season. Let the kids pick out fresh vegetables like sweet potatoes for a tastey soup.

6. Take a Family Picture

You can't get a better backdrop than the colors of Fall. Get family outside for some candid shots romping through the leaves...a perfect setup to put on your holiday cards.

7. Rake the Leaves, then...JUMP!

 

Why is it that kids are drawn to a pile of leave like moths to a flame? There's something about the soft crunch that breaks their fall as they fly through the air. Here's a little secret for you: It can be fun for adults too!

8. Cuddle By the Fire

Whether you have an outdoor pit or fireplace in your home, sitting with the family under blankets is a great way to appreciate the change in temperature. You don't have to be limited to just roasting marshmallows or making s'mores (but here's a great twist on that favorite with peanut butter or try almond butter). Cuddling by a fire is a great time to share stories and really connect with loved ones.

So what is YOUR favorite way to celebrate Fall? Share your ideas below and check out my Pinterest board dedicated to my favorite season!

 Fall-ing in Love,

Natural Mom Monday: Professor Nurses Sick Baby During Class & Starts Controversy

We've set up this really odd dynamic in this country when it comes to mothering and professional responsibilities.

On one hand we tell women "breast is best" and give them all the information about the benefits of nursing exclusively the first six months, which takes a HUGE amount of dedication from the mother and cooperation from her job.

On the other hand, in the U.S. we provide our mothers 0 weeks of mandatory paid maternity leave, have varying rules about which jobs are required to give women time to pump during their workday, and still have this idea that nursing should only be limited to private areas, likes bathrooms.

Men and women alike who have issues with women breast feeding in public don't bat a eye when a propped up breast (minus the nipple of course) serve them their favorite beer or model designer bathing suits. But, use those SAME breasts to feed your child in the most natural and healthy way possible and you are labeled inappropriate or even disgusting.

I know Americans are public prudes, but breastfeeding child has nothing to do with sex and if you are appalled you have the choice to look away.

Recently a professor at American University was publicly flogged by the school newspaper for her provocative behaviors.

Adrienne Pine was faced with an issue every working mom has dealt with at one time: Your kid has a fever, your daycare provider won't take them and you still have to go to work.

Ms. Pine, who is a single mother, had a tough decision to make. Instead of missing the first day of her feminist anthropology class she decided to bring her baby with her.  But it wasn't this act that had some of her students in an uproar. It was the fact that she had the audacity to soothe her fussy baby by nursing her  during class.

The student newspaper jumped on this story creating national scandal around the incident and highlighting the hypocrisy in our culture around gender and parenting. This event probably would have gone unnoticed if the professor hadn't breast-fed her baby in front of a bunch of immature 18 year old boys, who only equate breasts with their favorite wing joint or porn fantasies.

Thankfully many students were outraged by the treatment their teacher and protested against the article.

My issue with this situation is less about the students who felt uncomfortable (Though if it had been me I would have excused myself to nurse.) I understand the students would have seen even the most discrete nursing session as a distraction. But you WOULD think anyone taking a class titled  "Sex, Gender and Culture" would be a little more sensitive to the struggles of a single mom. Though, if Ms. Pine had stepped out to nurse in private, she could have been labeled  unprofessional for leaving her class.

She told CNN:

Frankly I felt, and I continue to feel, that the most professional thing I could do was to carry out the class with as few as possible interruptions. Leaving class for 10 minutes would have been a serious interruption for my students. And I also feel that since I've been breastfeeding in public in every place possible -- in buses, on planes -- I didn't realize the degree to which people are afraid of breasts in this country and in particular, in the workplace.

The real problem here is that working mothers are not supported AT ALL in this country. We have unrealistic expectations about a woman's ability to not only do it all---but do it all WELL. I think the professor tried to do what was best for her students and her baby.

That being said, all of this could "controversy" have been avoided if American University provided emergency childcare for their staff.

What do you think? Was the professor's behavior inappropriate?

Happily Without a 9-5 in Granolaville,

Natural Mom Monday: 5 Natural Ways to Cure a Headache

If you're a mom you had one of these at some point in your life....and if you haven't you deserve some sort of prize, award, or at least a firm pat on the back.

I'm dealing with one right now. I woke up around 5am this morning with a dagger-like pain encompassing the side of my left temple. I thought maybe if I went back to sleep, until my typical wake up time, I could miss the stabbing, throbbing pain.

I was OH-so-f-ing-wrong!

While making my kids lunches, it took all of my strength not to lay my face directly on the counter where I was assembling sandwiches. My oldest left first and now it was time to wake my 6 year old, which on a GOOD DAY is like raising a flesh-eating zombie from the dead.

As he sat and ate his breakfast, while watching some insanely lame kids show, I felt a wave of nausea sweep over my body. Sadly it wasn't the show creating this ill feeling. Even my son was concerned, asking," Are you OK Mom? Can I get you anything?"

What a sweet, sweet, boy I have. I finally got him on the bus and headed quietly back to bed with my cup of ginger tea and my sleepy 21 month old. Thankfully this wasn't one of those mornings where he was gung-ho about playing basketball or watching Blue's Clues.

It's now nearly lunch time and you know what, this headache is still lingering. Since I can barely type these words without squinting my left eye, I figured sharing some quick natural remedies would be a good idea for both of us.

1. Ginger tea

2. Water, water, water (dehydration is often the source)

3. Boil a handful of rosemary, place a damp towel over your head and breathe in the steam

4. Herbal tea with lemon

5. Eliminate temporarily caffeinated drinks, chocolate, dairy, red wine, and food with nitrates and sulfates (bacon, processed meat)

At this point I've done the ginger and I'm movin' onto the rosemary steam. Hopefully one of these will bring some relief. After all, I gotta be able to watch Steve find a clue.

Got any natural remedies to relieve a headache? Share them below!

 Trying to Escape the Pain in Granolaville,

Natural Mom Monday: 5 Super Top Secret Tips to Getting the Hell Away From Your Kids....I Mean, Alone Time

Hey Granolaville peeps! It's Labor Day so THAT means this crunchy mama is taking a day off from serving you lovelies with the latest in holistic living and natural news, and spending one last day poolside (hopefully with a delicious smoothie in hand!)

But don't fret...I wouldn't just leave you hanging! After all I know how hard you work, how you can feel under-appreciated, and how much you loathe laundry. Oh wait am I projecting?

I'm sure most of you are dusting off book bags, getting your kids back in the swing of a school night routine, and practicing your jig for when you send them off on that magical yellow bus. (It's OK to admit)

Annnyyywayss....if you haven't been able to find time for yourself this summer, you're in luck! I've got 5 no-fail ways to get you five minutes, or more, of uninterrupted kid-free time before you give them the boot back to school.

Enjoy!

Getting some FREEDOM in Granolaville, 

Natural Mom Monday: How Snooki Helped Me Stop Breast Feeding

A few weeks ago I shared some painful news about my relationship with my 21 month old son Nolan. After a long and mutually beneficial relationship I decided to end things once and for all. As I suspected he kicked, screamed and protested this new separation. And as I suspected I caved quicker than a mine in Chile.

Breastfeeding is a glorious and wonderful thing when its working for both mom and baby. But the oompa-loompa looking drag queen of reality TV (no  offense to drag queens), Snooki, wasn't far off when she talked about why she won't be breast feeding her new baby, "It's kind of like you're a cow and you're just milking".

She's so freakin eloquent.

There is TONS of information out there about how to get a "good latch" in-spite of flat nipples, c-sections, family pressure, and delivery complications. But I've yet to find the holy grail on how to STOP!

I thought I had a solid plan. My husband would sleep downstairs on the couch with our son for a week, and by the end he would be weaned from the boob, at least for the night feedings. For me the issue is the incessant suckling that goes on between the hours of 12am - 9am. We are nearly connected all night long which means though I'm getting sleep, the position I'm in is dictated by an adorable 30 lb "baby".

The problem with this approach was that as soon as he came back in bed with both of us, the nursing continued with full force.

Then I tried nursing him in the room that he "shares" with his 6 year old brother. I removed the side of his crib to make it into a daybed, thinking if he felt like he had a "big boy" bed he'd be more likely to stay in it. Slap me the next time I say I'm "thinking" anything.

I would put him down, kneel next him on the floor and nurse him until he fell asleep. I looked like a circus contortionist--- propping my boob on the side of the bed, then twisting my body so I could slowly dislodge it and creep out of the room.

During the day it's FAR easier to distract him with toys, his brothers, or solid food when he asks to nurse. We've gotten it down to only two sessions, which has made leaving my house for a few hours or having my mom watch him much easier.

The Perfect Booby Storm

A few days ago something not so wonderful happened to my husband that presented me with the PERFECT opportunity finally nip this night feeding in the bud. Last Tuesday I had to rush my husband to the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery. I felt awful he was in such excruciating pain. The doctor told him he'd be out of commission for at least 4 weeks since his job requires him to move heavy machinery.

His unfortunate news presented me with yet another opportunity to get this kid off the boob. Since my husband won't have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn for a few weeks, having a pissed-off baby crying in his ear a few nights won't really bother him....much.

His time off, coupled with the fact that in 6 weeks I'll be attending the Holistic Moms Network Conference in Chicago....by...my...self....presented me with the perfect excuse to finally wean my snuggly-wuggly milk leech.

At 4 am this morning Nolan and I began our "break-up" dance once again. I told him he was done nursing for the night and had to wait until morning to nurse more. He flailed, pouted, and held up one tiny finger in the dark indicating he just wanted "one more time". I could have so easily agreed and quickly gone back to sleep, but this time I"m determined to make it stick.

What was the final straw that made you give up breast feeding?

Taking Back my Boobs in Granolaville, 

Natural Mom Monday: Can You Have Plastic Surgery & Be a Holistic Mom?

While on beautiful Lake George this weekend with my family I had an interesting conversation with my mother-in-law about boob jobs.

I know that might seem like a strange topic for someone of my crunchy persuasion, but hear me out. I think most women can agree that, if given the opportunity, they would change SOMETHING about themselves physically. For some it might be the bump on their nose that keeps them feeling like "perfection" while for others it might be tiny ta-tas or sagging skin after loosing lots of weight.

In most ways I am very happy with my body. In the last 2 years, since having my son, I have made my physical health more of a priority. I've been able to maintain a weight I haven't seen since high school and I have WAY more energy.

Me and my H.S. BFF's in a wedding 7 years ago @ my heaviest

One year after giving birth to my 3rd child.

Me today

Being that I'm trying to live the most natural life that's possible, for me, it wouldn't make sense that I would sign up for plastic surgery to change something I didn't like, right? I mean part of living a holistic life is accepting the way you are ....as a WHOLE.

For me that means sucking up the fact that I will NEVER wear a two piece bathing suit again because of the claw-like stretch marks that are painted across my belly. It may seem minor, but as 30 yr old mom of 3, I WISH I could rock a bikini on the beach and NOT feel like everyone is judging or staring.

Tummy tuck surgery could fix all of that.

It would be so easy. I totally get why people sign up for boob jobs, liposuction, and nose jobs. They feel like if they just change this "one thing" everything else will be perfect. If getting a tummy tuck would make me go from feeling 80% confident about myself to 100%, I just might do it.

But here's the risk I run---- once I've "fixed" one thing I'll start looking at all my other minor imperfections to see how I can change those. It would be a slippery slope for me.

For many women having one procedure is enough. And hey, if they are happy with their big perky boobs, I'm happy for them. Just because you live a natural or holistic life doesn't mean you should be banned from plastic surgery.

I would just look at the reason why you want the surgery. If you feel like getting a procedure done will enhance your your already stellar self confidence then by all means go for it!

If, however, you feel like in order to be happy, sexy, smart, attractive, confident, etc... you NEED to have this procedure done then you may want to take a pause. Quick fixes are just that--QUICK! They never last very long, and it will be only a matter of time before you NEED something else.

Just remember mommas-- all your bumps, curves, scars, tiny boobs, saggy flesh, or marks are unique to you. They make up who you are. I think all of us can stand a little less self-hate and little more self love.

Would you have surgery to change something you don't like on your body?

A Momma with a saggy tummy in Granolaville, 

Natural Mom Monday: Are YOU Mom Enough? Let the Competition Begin!

Let's face most of us are self-conscious about one aspect of our parenting skills or another. It comes with the territory of motherhood -- second guessing decisions, questioning if what you are doing is best for your kid, and an overall sense of feeling "not up to par".

A lot of the guilt we feel is not based on taking an inventory of our own skills as a mom. Instead, we look around to the moms who "have it all" and compare their lives to ours. No matter if you are uber wealthy, scraping together every penny you have, or somewhere in the middle-- every mom, at some point, glaces at the mom next to her and compares.

We can't help it. It's like there is something in us that turns mothering into a competition, instead of OUR own personal journey.

I've seen it, even in the "holistic mom" community. We size up the mom to our right and the mom to our left. If they have the latest attachment parenting sling, then our baby needs one too. If they breast fed for 6 months then I'll do it for 6 YEARS. If they are using cloth diapers, then we must too. If they only feed their kids an organic, Paleo, gluten-free, vegan diet, with only foods the color orange then BY GOD you will do the same!

I've been guilty of it myself. Being that I write about my life everyday there is this desire to show the world that I am living the perfect crunchy life. I've found myself out in public, worrying if one of my readers will see me throw out a Dunkin Donuts bag, or buying non-organic produce and call me out on my shit.

Then I remember I'm NOT on a scripted reality tv show, no one is watching my every move, and people aren't THAT judgmental (I hope).

I'm a human being. Do I make mistakes as a parent? Hell yes! Do sometimes wish I could have enough backbone to say "NO" when my 6 year old asks for a sugary ___fill in the blank____. Hell yes! Do I do the best I can most times to make sure my boys are well-rounded, loving, engaged members of society who know their own self-worth, outside of having STUFF. Ab-so-freakin-lutely!

It is INSANE and exhausting trying to keep up with everyone else. WE literally have a dis-ease within ourselves that makes us feel inadequate. The only way to cure it is to turn motherhood into an Olympic sport, where each of us is vying for the "gold medal".

But motherhood is NOT a battle to see whose kids are the strongest, smartest, most eco-friendly, prettiest, or even the healthiest. You don't need to have, be, or do everything another mother does to be an AWESOME mom for your kids.

We've forgotten that our kids only care about our relationship with THEM. Whether they know it or not, they value quality time with US over getting the latest gadget or toy.

So "Are you Mom Enough" to stop beating yourself up, or looking over your shoulder at what "she" is doing? Love you kid, love yourself, and enjoy the ride.

Do you feel the pressure to "keep up" with other moms? Leave your crunchy comment below!

Being a Kick-ass Mom (most of the time) in Granolaville, 

Natural Mom Monday: Momma's Doing a Juice Fast, Lord Help Me...

I started something crazy this past weekend. Friday night I was scrolling through Netflix when I came across the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. Enticing title eh?

I was vaguely familiar with the movie because its star, Joe Cross, had been featured in the film Hungry for Change which highlights the issues we have with food in this country and how real food has been replaced with processed garbage.

In Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead Joe shares his journey battling an immune condition, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and 100 pounds in extra weight.

His solution: a 60 day juice fast to "Reboot" his system and get back into a healthy lifestyle. By day 60 he had lost 61 pounds, had more energy, a clearer mind, and his auto-immune condition was under control.

As my husband and I watched Joe's transformation in awe we decided this may be something we'd like to do.

Through eating MOSTLY good stuff, getting moderate exercise, and breast feeding my 20 month old son, I've been able to get down to a weight I haven't seen since high school. But lately, between BBQ's and being on the go with 3 kids, my intake of fruits and veggie has gone WAY down and been replaced with shitty fast food. On top of that I've been super low in energy, only getting short boosts when ingesting my favorite iced coffee.

I know, I'm not setting a very good crunchy example.

Now my husband, who has a BIG sweet tooth and a weakness for pizza, has fluctuated in weight over the last few years. There were times he was working out every day and eating right, but even more times when he was indulging and not moving around much at all.

I think for him, as for most of us, getting started is the hardest part. Then once you get started the results don't come as quickly as we'd like so we give up. That's why the Reboot Juice Fast has been so great. You see the pounds fall off right away, which makes you want to keep going.

The Reboot plan offers many options for the kind of juicing schedule you want to tackle. I've chosen the 3 Day Long Weekend Reboot, while my hubby has decided he wants to do the 10 Day Quick Start Reboot. 

Ours rations for 3 days of juicing

So here's the deal:

During our juicing days we will have nothing but fresh fruits and veggies juiced. Drink 8oz of water after each "meal" and drink herbal tea when we like. NO FOOD.

Once my 3 days are up I will continue for another 7 days eating only raw or cooked fruits and vegetables, while my husband continues to only juice.

Day 1 started on Saturday for us. It was pretty easy besides avoiding the BBQ my mother-in-law had. It wasn't so much that I was hungry, because the juice was filling my belly. It was more about the desire to chew something....ANYTHING!

Day 2 definitely was the hardest. We were both starving for "real food". At one point I told my husband that if a pizza delivery guy mistakenly came to our door I might break his knees and jack his food. Not my finest moment.

Day 3 was this morning and honestly I felt like shit run over. I could barely lift my arms to make my juice. But after downing my breakfast within 1/2 hour I was feeling back to normal.

Here's what I like so far about the juice fast:

• You can customize a schedule that works for you
• You get a SUPER boost of vitamins and minerals
• You ingest more fruits and vegetables than would EVER be possible in solid form
• You detoxify and clean out all the stuff that has you feeling sluggish and tired

So what are our results so far?

Initial Weigh-in 8/4

Me: 145.8 lbs, 20.2 BMI
Hubby: 238.6 lbs, 33.8 BMI

Weigh-in 8/6

Me: 138.4 lbs, 18% Body Fat
Hubby: 232.4, 32.3 % Body Fat

I've lost 7lbs and my husband's lost nearly 6 in the last 2 days. If that ain't a jump start I don't know what is! Check out tomorrow's when I'll give you our 3 Day updates as well as the recipes we've been using.

Have you ever done a fast? What was the hardest part? Share your comments below!

Juicing in Granolaville, 

 

Natural Mom Monday: Explaining Tragedy to Your Children

I took my boys for a haircut yesterday. As we sat and chatted with Paul, their usual barber, about how our summer was going my 6 year old looked up at the television screen that typically has reality T.V. or a game show on it to entertain patrons.

On this particular day the salon had on CNN. A man in a hospital bed, with tubes in his nose was being interviewed. My son asked me what happened to him. All I could muster was, "He got hurt."

The truth is the man was one of the 71 victims of the recent massacre in Aurora, Colorado. By now I think everyone has heard of the shooting that took place during the midnight showing of Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.

24-year-old neuroscience PhD candidate, James Holmes, entered the back door of a packed theatre, filled the room with a smoke bomb, and began mercilessly shooting into the crowd. He killed 12 people and injured dozens more--- armed with heavy weaponry and ammunition.

I know many news outlets as well as Facebook posts have begun to use this tragedy as a way to push the agenda for or against gun possession. At this point that issue pales in comparison to how I explain this unthinkable event to my child.

The world can be a beautiful, loving, nurturing, and magical place. But it can also be fucked up. As parents we do our best to tell children that monsters and the "bad" guys in movies don't exist. But they do.

How do we protect them from things that their hearts and minds can't comprehend, without making them fearful of world?

I could have explained to him what happened, matter-of-factly. But, as we all know, that would only lead him to ask more questions that I just don't have the answers to.

I wish my child didn't live in a world where violence, hatred, and murder existed. I wish I didn't have to explain to my children that horrible things happen everyday to people, often at the hands of other human beings.

I want my children to know love, not fear.

In order to show them that this world is full of wonderful loving people I must embody that myself. I heard a quote the other day that I shared with my 13 year old that helps me to remember that our time on this planet may be fleeting, but how we treat people will live on.

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” ~  Og Mandino quotes (American Essayist and Psychologist, 1923-1996)

How do you explain tragedies to your children?

With a Heavy Heart in Granolaville,

 

Natural Mom Monday: The Breast Feeding Break-up

I think I've reached my limit. I really wasn't sure this day would ever come. I mean, I thought he would be kicking ME to the curb before I was ever ready to see it end.

But I think it's time. Time to break-up with my baby.

Shit, he knows its coming.

OK, since little Nolan is only 19 months I can't quite pack up his belongings and send him off to his new place with clean sheets and meals for a month. That'll be next week. However, I have come to the conclusion that the relationship he has with my breasts is no longer working for me.

I used to LOVE nursing. It was this special time where my baby and I could bond over a warm beverage. It was like our own coffee talk.

"Talk amongst yourselves, any topic will do"

It was great relationship, that was mutually beneficial. He got the comfort, nourishment, and closeness a child can only get from his mother (no offense dads or grandmas). And I got the satisfaction of knowing my baby was getting the best stuff in town--antibodies to help his immune system and all the "good" fat to keep him plump and healthy. Not to mention those 500 extra calories mama got to burn with each feeding, now that's what I call a WIN-WIN!

Birthday parties, long car rides, sporting events or trips to the supermarket were never a concern. Since I always carried my "momma milk" fully stocked and ready to go anytime he needed it. I never had to worry about heating up bottles or finding "clean" water. Breast feeding had become the most convenient, ecomonical, and personally satisfying choice I had made, this 3rd time around.

How can we say good bye to the good times?

SO why do I want to stop, you ask? Simply put..I'm touched out!

If you are a mom, or a woman with a very clingy partner, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

In my case, it comes after a few days of my 6 year old using me as a chair and/or jungle gym 24/7, in addition to a toddler who wants nothing more than to nurse all through the night, while I'm on the toilet, or making dinner.

I don't want to sound like a callous bitch---but I'm SO sick of being grouped, fondled, and hung on by my children I'm about to crack!!!

That doesn't sound very "holistic" to me Nacia. Thank goodness I never claimed to be perfect.

I love my kids more than life itself. I would die for them, clean up poop for them, or dress a Power Ranger, if it made them happy. But there comes a point in a nursing mom-baby relationship when one person is on a booby shaped "Cloud 9", and the other is just feeling like a worn out cow. (I let you figure out which one I am.)

Here's the issue now....How do you ween your child from nursing (or at least night ween) without it being traumatic?

I asked this question a few weeks ago on Granolaville's Facebook page and I was BOMBARDED with loving tips, tricks, and experiences from my fellow crunchy mommas. The general consensus was consistency and commitment, two things I have been SEVERELY lacking.

It's just SO easy to give in a slap a boob in his mouth when he becomes fussy that I'm dreading the alternative....letting him cry.

Now I'm not opposed to a few tears being shed, but when I hear the soft whispers of "peees, peees" and the sign language gesture to go along with it, I cave.

I will say that I DID get him to fall asleep a few nights in a row without nursing, but an hour or two later he was back for more.

So it's time. It's time I take back my key, pack up his shit, and tell him its OVA! I know he'll come crawling back, begging me for just "1 more time". He'll promise to change, only nursing when its night night time or when he has a boo-boo.

I have to stand strong, I have to make a clean break and let him know the gravy train (milk train?) has ended. But how do you have the "It's not YOU, it's ME conversation with someone this damn cute?

Tonight I'm trying something my Holistic Mom friend suggested---- letting him sleep with daddy. We did it once before. I slept in my bed and my husband slept with Nolan on the couch. And ya know what???? He slept THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH.

I'm hoping after a week of doing this he'll at least be able to get through the night without nursing. Then this lady will get a normal nights rest and won't be SO tense about being a self-service fountain during the day.

Baby steps.

Has this method worked for you? What's your advice for a successful breast feeding breakup?

Breaking-up is hard to do in Granolaville,

Natural Mom Monday: Kourtney Kardashian- A New Baby & Natural Birthing Guru?

As you may, or may not be aware, sister #2 of the Kardashian trifecta gave birth yesterday morning to a healthy baby girl. Penelope Scotland Disick was born naturally-- weighing in at 7 pounds 14 ounces, to mommy Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick.

Though I'm not a fan of their mega hit show, nor do I get the hype surrounding who Kim is dating, I find it fascinating that a woman, like Kourtney, who's last name is synonymous with glitz, glam, and, let's face it, superficiality, has become this shiny, air-brushed, beacon of hope for the natural birthing community.

Is anyone as confused as I am?

OK, so on the outside Kourtney certainly does not embody my vision of über crunchy momma. I mean really who wears heels that high? But, when digging a little deeper, there may be more to her than a household last name and staged filmed family drama.

I, like you, would have envisioned the birth of her first child, Mason, to include all the spectacle of Kim's 5 minute wedding. However, it was shocking to me when I saw footage of the actual birth.

It took place in a calm, dimly-lit hospital room, surrounded by staff, her sisters, mama Kris, and Scott. The crazy part was---there was no screaming, no frantic nurses, or even much grunting. Kourtney pushed that baby out like a seasoned birther and caught him as he entered the world.

I don't know about you, but that shocked the shit out of me.

I couldn't believe someone so seemingly concerned about aesthetics (she put on a full face of make-up while in labor) could be so centered and in-tune with the way nature intended for babies to be born.

"...my experience last time was so peaceful and calm and everything you don't see in the movies. And I really wanted to share that with people so they knew it doesn't have to be a crazy screaming session."

YES! Thank you Kourtney for showing young women, all over the world, that birth doesn't have to be this scary, dangerous, or hell even painful experience. Don't get me wrong, birth is hard work. It requires mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual strength. If done naturally magnify that 10 fold. But here's a little secret----women were MADE for it!

All of the mental and physical qualities needed to complete this amazing, miraculous deed are in each and every one of us. We are stronger and more kick-ass than the media would have us believe. Obviously Kourtney didn't buy into the hype surrounding birth....and her family damn near created the word!

There seems to be a growing community, among female celebrities, who are abandoning medicated deliveries, and in some cases, even the hospital. Giselle Bundchen, Idina Menzel, Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba, and Halle Berry all gave birth to their babes with nothing more than a push and a prayer. Actresses Alyson Hannigan, Demi Moore, Alanis Morissette, and of course Ricki Lake delivered their babies in the comfort of their home.

Now, I'm not one to follow celebrity trends (who the hell thought Ugg's were EVER OK?), but showing women their power in birth is something I can definitely stand behind!

I applaud Miss K. for becoming such a public advocate of natural birth and breast feeding. In her blog she shared how much she enjoyed extended nursing, and only weened, her now 2 year old son Mason, once the time felt right, saying, "I seriously could cry just thinking about it being over."

Kourtney Kardashian and baby Mason

Hopefully, by Kourtney sharing her birth experiences with Mason, and now Penelope, she will help her millions of fans see the beauty and benefits of natural birthing. If not, at least we'll get some entertaining reality T.V.

Do you think celebrities have helped natural birthing and breast feeding become more "normal"?

Kommending Kourtney in Granolaville,

Natural Mom Monday: I was Wrong. Finding Freedom from Perfection

I think I may have unintentionally insulted or been insensitive to a lot of women last week. Part of my personality is that I'm not one to mince words. Which can be a good quality, but at times it can also come off as judgmental.

I posted an article about new scientific experiments on unborn children, that I wholeheartedly did not agree with. However, I think I was a bit cavalier about the pain that is caused by not being able to naturally conceive a child.

I am sorry if I hurt anyone dealing with the loss or inability to have a child.

My intention of shedding light on this story was not to insult anyone, but to say that I believe we have strayed SO far away from the natural order of things that we can not see the future ramifications. I do feel that ALL people should be able to become loving parents to a child, if they so choose, and I can see how my thoughts may have been harsh.

Starting down a path towards healthy or more holistic living is not easy.  As moms, its hard not compare yourself to what others are doing, wearing, and feeding their kids---especially in the holistic community.

I try to live my life as authentically as possible. Which sometimes means admitting I make mistakes (see above) and that I am NOT the poster mom for "Holistic Living", but I do my best.

Yes, sometimes my best is feeding my family a slew of processed foods because I was exhausted from running around and couldn't fathom boiling a pot of water, much less preparing a nutritious and delicious meal.

Sometimes that means forgetting my eco-friendly reusable water bottle and buying disposable ones that will, regrettably, clog up our landfills.

And sometimes that means, although I KNOW the overall benefits of extended breastfeeding I want to bind my lady lumps to my chest with duck tape if it means I don't have to be groped by a 19 month old in the middle of Target.

Suffice to say, I am not perfect. But there is an empowering freedom in admitting that. I don't know every homeopathic remedy or grow enough food in my garden to feed my family for a year, but I do the best I can do.

This is why I created Granolaville, so that no matter where you are on your holistic journey you could find comfort in knowing there is a community of people out there just like you----looking for a natural way, but sometimes falling short.

Accepting that we ALL are perfectly imperfect allows us to show kindness to ourselves and to others when we want to jump to conclusions or place judgement.

SO this week while celebrating the freedoms and independence that July 4th represents, give yourself the permission to let go of the need for perfection in whatever area of your life that needs it. Try your best, admit your mistakes and move on. 

Humbled in Granolaville,